Monday, June 6, 2011

Even the impulse to look is unfair to females

I don't know about you, but I've had disadvantages from birth that I've had to overcome -- things I don't and won't discuss because I refuse to have anyone feel sorry for me or to view me as a victim.  I do not feel "guilty" for being a white male, and do not feel blessed, either.

When I read comments like the following, on a Jessica Valenti Live Q&A, it almost sickens me (the emphasis is mine):

Q. As the father of daughters, I strongly condemn the double standard regarding sexuality and the genders. Or more specifically, how societies have historically treated female sexuality as shameful. Often the stated rationale for restricting how females dress is the false claim that this is necessarily for male self-control. My reaction to that is, "Oh, please" - do you share that reaction? At the same time, I cannot deny that I find the sight of female flesh alluring. While I avoid staring, I find that even if I'm not looking I'm still looking, if that makes sense. A bit like not thinking of a pink elephant. I feel like even having the impulse to look is unfair to females. I've told other men that it's wrong for, say, serial adulterers to blame their behavior on either their impulses or on the women. Does that make me a hypocrite if I have the impulse to look?

A.Jessica Valenti : Yes, I agree that it's silly to argue that men somehow can't control themselves around women who dress a certain way - it's an argument that's insulting to men. As far as you looking at women - I don't know, we all look at each other a bit, don't we?! I think so long as you don't stare in a way that makes a woman clearly uncomfortable, it's pretty understandable.

The rest of it is the usual straw man inanity that pretends women are raped because society excuses males and blames females. And because of "rape culture," which links rape with Playboy Magazine and with male batterers and with prostitution and with male domination and and with patriarchy. And probably with ham sandwiches, too.  You know, the usual nonsense for which there is precisely zero evidence.