Tuesday, December 16, 2014

A Battle for the Ages: The Naked Students of Harvard's 'Patriarchal Sausage-Fest' Versus Harvard's Social Justice Warriors

Shortly after midnight last Thursday morning, a surreal tableau settled on Harvard Yard that pretty much illustrates everything that is wrong with our vaunted institutions of higher learning.

A group of 30 über-privileged Harvard students -- some clad in black sweatshirts with the words, “I ♥ Black People” (they might as well have worn sweatshirts that said "Some of my best friends are black people!") -- attempted to force 100 other über-privileged Harvard students to join in a four-and-a-half minute "silent demonstration" against racism, prompted by the grand jury decisions in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases.

Where did the wise silent protesters choose to stage this noble demonstration? At about the most inappropriate forum imaginable: the "Primal Scream" at Harvard Yard, a biannual school tradition where mostly male students "at times inebriated, run naked around [Harvard] Yard on the eve of the first day of exams." This event has been called a "detrimental and patriarchal sausage-fest" and a "penis parade."

The rest of the amazing story, and an NSFW photo, appear after the jump:

Photo from The Harvard Crimson
It was a surreal scene. A large group of college men, and select college women, stripped off all their clothes and were standing stark naked in freezing rain waiting to run a single lap around the Yard for reasons only college men and select college women could even begin to fathom. 

But before they could start, a much smaller group of clothed and sanctimonious PC warriors arrived and ordered the naked students to stand silent for a four-and-a-half minutes, which might as well have been an eternity to phalluses shrunken by December in New England.

The Harvard Crimson clucked that the protest "was planned with understandable intentions: to disrupt an established campus tradition and to show that injustice exists even in the most inconvenient moments."

I mean, what better way to honor blacks victimized by police than for preachy, self-important college students to disrupt naked classmates looking to blow off steam in a freezing Cambridge drizzle?

But you'd better be sitting down for this next part, because something bad happened -- something very bad: the naked students refused to be silent for their their moral superiors. This shocked the protesters, who are accustomed to fellow students marching in lockstep to their PC group-think, so they broke into chants: "Silence! Silence!”

Now, you have to understand that this protest was billed as "an invitation . . . for . . . students to stand with their classmates in solidarity and critique the entrenched privileges that they may find themselves heirs of.” As it turned out, it wasn't an "invitation" at all, it was a Royal Command Performance.

But the naked students decided this wasn't the time or the place to be silent, or to protest a serious issue, or to be preached to -- about race or anything else -- so, horrors!, the naked students started chanting the most vile hate speech imaginable. Yes, you guessed it: they started chanting “U.S.A., U.S.A.!,” drowning out the calls for silence by the protesters.

The protesters had a hissy fit because Primal Scream participants had the audacity to disrupt their attempt to disrupt the Primal Scream. Amanda D. Bradley, class of 2015, who helped organize the protest, said she felt disgusted by what the naked students were chanting. “For people to say black lives matter, and for the crowd to shout back ‘U.S.A.,’ which is upholding a system that is oppressing black people, I think that that is problematic,” she said.

Are you following this? Shout U.S.A." at Harvard Yard, and it's hate speech, because of all that "oppression" and everything. This, according to students whose parents shell out $57,000 a year for them to attend the most prestigious college in America.

But just then, something positively miraculous happened. With megaphone in hand, the Dean of the College, Rakesh Khurana, suddenly rose above the crowd like a Phoenix ascending from the ashes to silence the naked students--and mirabile dictu!--he was riding on the back of a naked man! As one writer observed: "Dean Khurana was just riding that naked man because that’s how much he cares about black people."

But not even this noblest of all gestures could quell the Primal Screamers, and chaos erupted. It was the Odessa steps scene from Battleship Potemkin all over again. A group of streakers at the back of the crowd began to run in the opposite direction around Harvard Yard. The other streakers followed, but the wily protesters cut them off, "forcing some streakers to run off the path and into the middle of the Yard." Some runners shouted obscenities.

In the end, the Harvard Crimson harrumphed: ". . . [M]any protestors left feeling threatened, disrespected, and hurt. No arguments or justifications can detract from their experiences; circumstances do not excuse insensitive behavior."

Yes, yes, of course -- it was "insensitive" for the Primal Screamers to proceed with, you know, the Primal Scream -- because self-righteous PC warriors decided to disrupt it.

I wonder, is it so terribly difficult to believe that despite their exposed phalluses and inebriation, the Primal Screamers probably care about social justice every bit as much as the smug and priggish protesters?

But no matter. It was a scene for the ages, proving that the mindless, libertine hedonism that has been a hallmark of the college experience for as long as anyone can remember can't peacefully coexist with mindless political correctness that has a hissy fit when it doesn't get its way.

All this adds up to one thing: we're raising a generation of nitwits.

For more about Harvard, see these: 

A Tale of Two Snow Penises;

Harvard Prof. Trivializes the Victimization of the Wrongly Accused;

Harvard Crimson to Men Accused of Sexual Assault: Drop Dead;

Prof. Alan Dershowitz: "Harvard's policy was written by people who think sexual assault is so heinous a crime that even innocence is not a defense."