The world is a complicated place with lots more grays than black-and-whites, even when it comes to -- dare I say it? -- gender issues. Too often, some in the men's rights movement present gray issues as black-and-white, and that only detracts from the issues that really are black-and-white.
Here's one that's black-and-white. In family law court, there is a widespread, systemic bias against fathers. When the father at issue is a good father, a caring father, a father who wants to be involved in his children's lives, that bias can be a grave injustice.
If we ever want to achieve gender equality -- I mean real gender equality -- that's both fair to men and that allows more women to strive for greater achievement in the workplace, we need to treat dads as real parents, not as mommy's helpers who perform their fatherly duties at mother's whim. And we need to insist that our judicial system not be used as a sword to skewer good fathers.
Read the entire piece -- if this doesn't horrify you, I don't know what will: http://www.seattleweekly.com/2012-01-18/news/ripped-apart/
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
9 comments:
"that allows more women to strive for greater achievement in the workplace..."
I'm not sure what is meant by the above statement. IMO, women have frequently 'achieved' much more than they deserved in the workplace because of affirmative action and other preferential policies and attitudes ie misandry.
Aharon
Gender equality is not possible.
Honestly, I am very wary of anybody saying that.
The last time people said that, a lot of bad things happened.
When are people going to learn.
Men and Women are different.
Stop trying to make them the same.
It means exactly what it says. (Were you looking at that sentence thinking it was some betrayal of men's rights issues? Sheeesh!! Don't be so worried, Aharon -- you know better than that.)
A fuller explanation for people concerned about what it means: women don't achieve positions in upper management, and don't achieve higher salaries, to anywhere near the degree men do. This is almost entirely due to choices women make -- and the principal choice women make that holds them back is being the primary parent. Women can't "have it all," and men can't either. But right now, it's PC to help women achieve what they want to achieve while making sure men are still pretty much where they were in 1955--men are still Ward Cleaver, and their primary function is to give mom money so she can raise the kids. Bottom line, ladies: you want to get ahead in the work world, the price is that you need to let Dad be a full and equal parent. But guess what? To "incentivize" dad to be a full amd equal parent, you can't hold over his head the power to have him kicked out of his own home on your say so. Men ain't sacrificing a career while mom has the power to pull the rug out from under him. We need to have a national dialogue about ending these family law abuses.
"Were you looking at that sentence thinking it was some betrayal of men's rights issues?"
Not betrayal, just something that was confusing to me knowing that you are an honorable man and a great MRA. I don't want to make an issue out of something that isn't one. In fairness, I'm a bit stressed (and somewhat excited) right now because I just decided to move across country to NY (family reasons). It's more than a physical move as it is also a cultural move that I'm going to have to deal with. I feel like I'm moving into the bowels of the misandry beast.
Aharon
Good luck with the move, Aharon! Some of the most parochial and backward people I've ever met assume they are sophisticated because they live in New York City and vote the "correct" way every election.
"Good luck with the move, Aharon!"
Thank you. I met those same people when I lived in San Francisco. Wondering if I'll get the FRA perp walk getting off the plane at JFK (sarcasm off).
Aharon
I was quite surprised to see an article of this nature coming from uber-liberal Seattle. It was a fantastic article that describes experiences shared by many, many men around the country.
However, I was deeply troubled by the comments of the self-admitted feminist attorney who said that "male denial" is still a big problem in relation to DV.
Of course, denial is a huge problem in relation to DV. However, it is not men in general who are living in denial it is women; primarily feminists.
Over forty years of research illustrates the REALITIES of DV. Women are just as violent if not more violent than men. Women are more likely to INITIATE violence against their partner. Women are more likely to be violent to children. Furthermore, they are more likely to lie about being victimized.
Having said that, I am not suggesting that DV is a gender issue. In my opinion, the insistance on viewing DV and Rape as gender-specific issues is perhaps the single biggest mistake our society has made in the effort to address such matters on a societal level.
In a similar fashion, gender politics is a significant reason why the family law system in this country is an abysmal failure. In system where the primary objective is supposed to be the best interests of the children (in custody cases) those interests are all too often sacrificed in an adversarial system that pits one parent against the other while the outcome (in most cases) seems pre-determined based on the gender (female) of the parent.
To date, our family law system could be more aptly described as working in the best interests of one parent over the other AND the children due in large part to false, misguided, and/or outdated notions of mother and fathers mainly to the benefit of women.
Matriarchy in USSR
matriarhat-v-sssr.narod.ru/zhen-en.htm
They confessed that earlier male sex occupied privileged position (though, it was fraud, a husband never actually totally dominated in a family in Russia, despite ...
This is a very disquieting article written about the rise of feminism in Russia since 1917.
Almost EVERY single point the auther makes has ALREADY happened here in America.
What was once The Evil Empire....is now US.
There are unmentioned and unmentionable barriers to men being equal parents even within marriages and relationships which appear to be strong. If both parents want to work less and spend more time with their children there is conflict and men have seen too many friends and colleagues who likewise thought their marriage was solid end up in the divorce court to be entirely confident, but of course they cannot voice these fears openly. They know that if this happens they will be in a worse position than if they accept the position of main breadwinner and relatively limited time with their children and will accept the status quo rather than rock the boat. He therefore has the work-life balance he ends up with as a result of other people’s decisions. There was an article in the Guardian (UK) linked to here (http://blog.sophianetwork.org.uk/2011/12/shared-parenting-great-article-by-gaby-hinsliff.html) and a couple of weeks ago there was a letter in an advice column on work from a woman who had returned to work after maternity leave and had found that she had lost her enthusiasm for a demanding marketing job. Nowhere in the advice did it mention the effect of her choice on her husband. Elsewhere in agony columns, advice to men experiencing conflict within their marriage has ended with the throwaway line that if they can’t resolve the conflict, they should consider ending the marriage. This is in fact the crux of the problem, since men know that divorce is to be avoided at all costs and will accept arrangements which are less unsatisfactory, but are still far from what they would want.
The other point is that men don’t ask employers for flexible working because they know that they can be put at a disadvantage simply for asking. Employers want employees to work long hours ‘to show that they are committed’. With some that commitment may be genuine, but often there is a conspiracy that employees work the hours and pretend to be committed and employers pretend to believe it. By asking for flexible working, if it is refused it is clear that you are there under sufferance and this pretence is no longer possible.
Post a Comment