"Oh my goodness..." I squeak. "He's quite something."
"Isn't he just?" whispers the woman next to me out of the corner of her mouth.
"And surprisingly hirsute, if I might say...crikey, just look at that six-pack. And chest. And tummy...Wow! Who'd have thought it?"
. . . .
The reason most people are here tonight and, indeed, the reason tickets are sold out for weeks to come, is the moment, halfway through the second half, when Harry (sorry, Daniel) simulates sex with an attractive blonde stable girl called Jill, played by 24-year-old Joanna Christie.
. . . .
"Oh my God!" whispers a man in front to his wife. "We're not - I repeat - not, bringing the girls." "Shut up!" hisses his wife. "I'm trying to watch."
So are we all. And we're all wondering the same thing. Fast forward past the applause and standing ovation to the aftershow party, and the million-dollar question is on everyone's lips.
Were actress Joanna Christie's charms too much to resist for poor Daniel? Had his body reacted in the way any 17-year-old boy's would when confronted with an attractive naked girl?
From our perch in the gods, we suspected as much, but it was important to check with those who had a better view. Graham Norton was uncharacteristically prurient. "I couldn't possibly comment. And you should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. He's little more than a boy."
Others were less equivocal, but one thing is for certain: those little round specs are a distant memory.