Friday, October 8, 2010

Rape Culture 101 -- I don't like misogyny, either

by Connie Chastain*

Since I have become a supporter of men's rights, I've noticed that there are folks who assume this means I'm a woman-hater. Nothing could be further from the truth. I don't hate women; I'm just opposed to radical feminism -- that is, the man-hating, family-destroying variety.

Some anti-feminist men take exception to this, but I really don't mind women voting and participating in their community. I don't mind women working at an outside job once the little ones start school, as long as they're doing it to help a bread-winning husband, and don't neglect home and family in the process. Yes, I know sometimes circumstance forces mothers of small children into the labor market, and I think that's unfortunate. But I don't mind women getting an education so they can support themselves and their children, should the unthinkable happen to their husbands. In other words, I don't mind women having more choices.

But is it unreasonable to think the positive accomplishments of women in the latter 20th century could have been achieved without the destruction radical feminism has brought about in the Anglosphere? Look what we have now after three successive waves of feminism. Boys alienated in elementary and secondary schools, and foregoing college in greater numbers than ever before. The breakdown of the family by illegitimacy and/or easy divorce, resulting in whole communities of fatherless children experiencing some of the most damaging social pathologies known in our culture.

Then, there's the whole man-hating rape-culture meme. The most fundamental relationships between men and women have been targeted for change or destruction. There's the sexual grievance industry on the one hand and the domestic violence industry on the other that come together like giant, invisible pincers to mercilessly squeeze hapless men in an inescapable grip, remove him from the life he has built, separate him from his family, not to mention his bank account -- and literally make his life not worth living.

I feel nothing but contempt for a woman who would ruin so many lives, particularly those of her own family members, in such a manner, barring extenuating circumstances. I'm particularly disdainful of the whole apparatus -- government, academia, law enforcement, the courts, the popular culture -- that backs up the alienation of men in our culture.

But that doesn't mean I hate women.

I know there are some men who do. I sometimes encounter them on men's sites and blogs. Most MRAs who host or post on Internet sites are reasonable and level-headed. Even those who may have had bad experiences with wives or girlfriends, and by extension, cops and courts, exhibit remarkable fairness and judgement.

But there are those few who are going to hate women, no matter what. There is nothing good about women to these folks. Saying anything in the defense of women will likely result in a stunning burst of cynicism from that quarter. I can only imagine the hurt from which it grew.

Very often, the criticism is unfair and unwarranted, in which case, I find myself getting a touch defensive and angry on behalf of myself and my sisters. But I'd never challenge it, because I understand that the only thing behind such misogyny is likely an individual man's excruciating personal experience.

What lies behind most of the misandry I encounter, on the other hand, is a huge, well-organized, well-funded and government-protected industry known as radical feminism that permeates every level, aspect and corner of our culture. Millions of men and women fall under its influence without even realizing it. Some become useful idiots who help hasten the movement to its destructive ends.

There are many things causing the current decline of the United States, Europe and other western nations. Perhaps some of it can be attributed to the fact that no civilization lasts forever...they've been coming and going since Sumer rose and fell. But I can't believe we'd be nearly so far along in the decline if radical feminism had not played a such a crucial part in the changes of the past fifty years.

For most men, misogyny is personal. For feminists, misandry is institutional, political, cultural....and universal.

No, I don't hate women and I don't approve of misogyny -- but I will always be at enmity with radical feminism for its role in the destruction of my culture.

*Connie is a member of the FRS team whose column appears here every Friday. Her blog is