by Connie Chastain*
If you pay much attention to politics and culture, you know things ain't real pretty right now -- at least, not in the USA.
The country is probably as divided as it has ever been without resorting to arms. The economy is in shambles; government at all levels is broke. The recession has hit men the hardest, so the federal government tries to fix it by spending nonexistent money creating jobs for ... women. The president disses the Boy Scouts' 100th Anniversary in order to get in front of TV cameras with the bit-- women of "The View." Sheesh.
Society is polarized. That makes it a good time to seize the energy that flows from conflict and take a stand. What we have now is a great opportunity for real women to stand up to radical feminists -- to stand up for themselves and their men in the face of baseless feminist criticism, haranguing and bellyaching.
The Internet is a great virtual arena for such a debate. An effort might be as simple as leaving a comment challenging a hostile article or praising a positive one. From there, the motivated debater can move into chat rooms and discussion groups. Really motivated defenders can start their own blogs. Anybody who's been online a while knows all this, but it bears repeating, as hard times weigh folks down and try to leach our spirits from us.
Being the somewhat contentious and opinionated person that I am (hey, I can't help it, it's my Scots-Irish mountaineer heritage) I've been e-squabbling and i-kvetching since I got online with my first WebTV back in 1999, about a great variety of subjects, including feminism. I've learned a few lessons that others have perhaps learned, and perhaps not.
First, you're not going to change the mind of a dedicated feminist, about rape culture or patriarchy or glass ceilings or anything else, no matter how logical and incisive your argument, so don't try. Realize that the whole point of the exercise is to present your argument to non-participants, to the lurkers and readers, those who may not yet realize that they, indeed, do have a dog in this fight.
Second, you're not going to do your cause any good by participating in the online equivalent of elementary school cafeteria food-fights. Nobody's convinced by name-calling and profanity, so don't participate, and if you have the authority, follow the example of FRS's great moderators, Pierce and Steve, and shut down counter-productive discussions.
Third, as important as it is to stand up to radical feminist insanity, it is far more important to stand up for the wonderful men in our society, in our families, in our lives. They're unlikely to stand up for themselves, these men -- ordinary men (who are anything but ordinary), the unsung heroes, the men who hold everything together, who make the world work and societies successful, the nameless men who invent, who maintain, who accomplish because it's what they do, not because they seek recognition or praise. But whether they seek it or not, they appreciate it.
But there's more to do than just recognize their essential contributions to successful human existence; there is also the job of defending men, particularly western men, from feminism's egregious lies. You don't read of husbands in the USA cutting off their wives' noses and ears -- but you do hear of wives cutting off their husband's penises--and being applauded for it. And yet, in a society where women are pampered and uplifted, feminists still complain about made up rape culture and the dearth of women in executive suites.
So many times when I've read terse accounts of false rape accusations on this blog, I've wondered if anyone stood up for the falsely accused, if the women in his life stood with him and let him know that he was not abandoned by those who care about him.
Arguing, on the Internet or anywhere else, isn't for everyone. But in this climate of constant complaint about men and boys, even non-confrontational types can, and should, stand for and with their husbands, fathers, sons and brothers against all of feminism's false allegations.
*Connie is a member of the FRS team. Her weekly essays appear every Friday. Her personal blog is http://conniechastain.blogspot.com/
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20 comments:
A great column, Connie.
"Being the somewhat contentious and opinionated person that I am (hey, I can't help it, it's my Scots-Irish mountaineer heritage)"
Ah ... so that's what it is!
My own Scots-Irish heritage, is perhaps why I find myself blowing up at times, against all good reason.
Only online, really. In real life I'm demure and taciturn. That must be the English part.
"Second, you're not going to do your cause any good by participating in the online equivalent of elementary school cafeteria food-fights. Nobody's convinced by name-calling and profanity, so don't participate, and if you have the authority, follow the example of FRS's great moderators, Pierce and Steve, and shut down counter-productive discussions."
Guilty as charged, and Connie, you are entirely correct.
I hang my head in shame. Not because of the feminists I have offended, but because of how I have engaged in ineffectual tactics time and time again. Venting, saying radical things for their own sake, and so on.
I need to work on my rhetorical discipline, I think.
Wow, Snark - so now they are using that term in Britan. "It's the creeping Americanisation of ouwah culchah! It's a scandal!"
Connie, this is pure win, your best to date.
Of COURSE we women stand up for our falsely accused men!!!!
How could you even question something like that?
Anon @ 11:43,
Good to hear it. :) And it's those little reminders that I need to tell me how wrong I've been when I overgeneralise and bash women as opposed to feminists and false rape accusers ... which together are probably still a MINORITY of women.
Yes, this is something I should write on a post-it note and attach to my forehead.
Or have tattooed underneath my eyelids.
Excellent article Connie.
"What we have now is a great opportunity for real women to stand up to radical feminists -- to stand up for themselves and their men in the face of baseless feminist criticism, haranguing and bellyaching."
CARPE DIEM!
Phillis Sclafly would love to read that.
Anonymous said...
Of COURSE we women stand up for our falsely accused men!!!!
How could you even question something like that?
____________________________
Uhm... let me think.... Does Duke or Hofsta ring any bells? Ever wonder why The Innocense Project is so busy?
YOU may Anon, but sadly, a good many women don't. Heard any good John Bobbit Jokes lately?
TMOTS
The Man On The Street said...
Anonymous said...
Of COURSE we women stand up for our falsely accused men!!!!
How could you even question something like that?
____________________________
Uhm... let me think.... Does Duke or Hofsta ring any bells? Ever wonder why The Innocense Project is so busy?
YOU may Anon, but sadly, a good many women don't. Heard any good John Bobbit Jokes lately?
TMOTS
Aug 14, 2010 7:27:00 AM
To which Anon do you speak?
"Of COURSE we women stand up for our falsely accused men!!!!"
"How could you even question something like that?"
Where? I don't see any.
"Where? I don't see any."
Eh, the fact is, it's still a minority of MEN who stand up for the falsely accused.
Most are white knights, apathetic, or simply unaware of the issue.
When a man is falsely accused, it doesn't just affect him. It affects his family too - I would not say in the same way, as clearly the man suffers the most; but it would not be fair to deny that his family suffers too. If a member of my family was falsely accused of a sex crime, I would be going through HELL. I can't even imagine it.
There are a significant number of women who come here voicing their support for FRS. And I am sure that in their private capacities as wives, girlfriends, daughters, etc., they do everything they can to help the falsely accused; but keep in mind that the entire force of the state is up against them. What they can feasibly do might be not much more than what falsely accused men themselves are able to do.
It's just a fucking tragedy, all around, to everyone involved. And I have absolutely no doubts that the women who are involved with falsely accused men feel it. And that it hits them HARD.
(Obviously, I am excluding those women who are the false accusers.)
I know, I know - I've said things I shouldn't have, in the past.
But we have to get past this. It's not men vs women. That's not the issue of false accusations. It's good men and good women vs false rape accusers, attitudes that enable false rape accusations, law enforcement figures that encourage false accusations and treat presumed innocent men as guily, the media's naming and shaming of presumed innocent men, and the epicentre of all these things: feminism.
If anybody thinks we shouldn't welcome women onto our side, just take a look at who wrote this very article - and look at the others she has written. Even the books she has written and got published. Would she do any of this if she didn't feel that same burning rage against the horrible injustices inflicted against innocent men? I doubt it.
"If anybody thinks we shouldn't welcome women onto our side"
I realise this wasn't actually the point being made by anyone.
But, I do think that a number of the regular Anons are female, and their presence shouldn't be denied.
Snark, your 10:20 was great. I think all, including me, would agree that the issue is not men vs women, but good men and good women vs the bad guys.
Please allow me to tack onto a few points you mentioned, as follows:
When a man is falsely accused or a woman is raped, it doesn't just affect them. It affects their families too - I would not say in the same way, as clearly the victims suffer the most; but it would not be fair to deny that their families suffer too. If a member of my family was falsely accused or raped, I would be going through HELL. I can't even imagine it.
Snark, would you agree that if the victim is a woman, she can spare herself the dreadful agony simply by 'not telling' anyone? Of course her silence would enable a rapist to rape again. But can you understand now why some women choose not to report rape? I realize that a falsely accused man would not have the same choice.
"Even the books she has written and got published. Would she do any of this if she didn't feel that same burning rage against the horrible injustices inflicted against innocent men?
That's an easy one, Snark. She is self-published. It's a marketing strategy. She has a book to plug, and what better target than the FRS? You might should take a wait and see attitude on her virtuous soul.
Snark said:
"I know, I know - I've said things I shouldn't have, in the past."
Like what?
Unproven Rape charges: Famous German Weather Anchorman Joerg Kachelmann released after 4 months instant jail
http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,,5848070,00.html
Anonymous at 12:47
Just to clarify for you and any others wondering, I have been anti-feminist since about 1968 when I first became aware of what we called women's lib. It wars against my religious beliefs.
I have not been an activist that entire time. I spoke against it within my circle of acquaintences when the opportunity presented itself. Then, as a new resident of Florida in 1980 or so, I traveled with a busload of ladies dressed in red (many Eagle Forum members) to Tallahassee to protest the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment.
Rape has never been a greater concern to me than any other violent crime. I never, ever approved of the death penalty for rape. I'm ambivalent about capital punishment, anyway. (I'm more comfortable with a murderer staying in prison for as long as the victim remains dead, or until they themselves die, whichever comes first. If the death penalty must be used, use it on the monsters who torture and murder little kids.)
I was not hugely aware of feminist rape-hype and the the rape-culture hysteria until I became aware of the false-rape phenomena when the Duke Lacrosse case brought the world's attention to it. That was when I decided to add that theme to a book I was already writing, and also to write a prequel that included it.
My primary purpose in writing fiction has always been to honor and celebrate men.
http://justdamn-vdog.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-have-seen-devel-and-she-now-has-red.html
This article impressed me for two reasons:
1. It was exceptionally and powerfully written
2. The lady author owned a WebTV! Somebody 'round here is a techie.
Connie Chastain said...
Anonymous at 12:47
Just to clarify for you and any others wondering, I have been anti-feminist since about 1968 when I first became aware of what we called women's lib. It wars against my religious beliefs.
I have not been an activist that entire time. I spoke against it within my circle of acquaintences when the opportunity presented itself. Then, as a new resident of Florida in 1980 or so, I traveled with a busload of ladies dressed in red (many Eagle Forum members) to Tallahassee to protest the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment.
Rape has never been a greater concern to me than any other violent crime. I never, ever approved of the death penalty for rape. I'm ambivalent about capital punishment, anyway. (I'm more comfortable with a murderer staying in prison for as long as the victim remains dead, or until they themselves die, whichever comes first. If the death penalty must be used, use it on the monsters who torture and murder little kids.)
I was not hugely aware of feminist rape-hype and the the rape-culture hysteria until I became aware of the false-rape phenomena when the Duke Lacrosse case brought the world's attention to it. That was when I decided to add that theme to a book I was already writing, and also to write a prequel that included it.
My primary purpose in writing fiction has always been to honor and celebrate men.
Aug 15, 2010 6:23:00 PM
Did you have the opportunity to meet Phyllis Schlafly? I wish I could meet her.
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