A writer named "Ann" from Feministing.com has conjured up some good old-fashioned stardust feminist wishfulness in a post about rape that is almost unspeakably irresponsible, not to mention flat-out wrong. Don't trust me, read it for yourself here.
"Ann" writes about a new survey dealing with first-time sex. She cites the report of the survey that includes the following:
Among females aged 18-24 whose first sex was before age 20, 10% "really didn't want it to happen at the time", 47% had mixed feelings, and 43% "really wanted it to happen at the time". This varied depending on the age at first sex. For those who had 1st sex at 14 years or younger, 18% really didn't want it to happen, compared with 8% among those whose first sex was at age 18 or 19. On the other hand, more than a quarter of females aged 18-24 whose first sex was at age 14 or younger (29%) really wanted it to happen at the time. First sex with an older partner was associated with much higher percents of females reporting "really didn't want it to happen". Among those whose first partners were 3 or more years older, 19% reported that they didn't really want it to happen at the time, compared with 5% among those whose first partners were the same age or younger.(The bold type was supplied by "Ann")
Misinformation is the engine that drives the so-called "rape culture," and irrational rape hysteria and false rape claims are its noxious emissions. "Ann's" take on the report of this survey is rife with error.
"I keep staring at those figures in boldface above -- the young women who did not get to set the terms of their first time," she concludes, without a scrap of evidence that the women "did not get to set the terms."
Then she muses: "I wonder if CDC researchers can explain exactly what the difference is between 'really didn't want it to happen' and rape?"
Personally, I wonder if "Ann" can explain exactly what is her basis for conflating a young woman's subjective wants and desires with rape?
Then, "Ann's" coup de grace: "Because 'really didn't want it to happen' is just another way of saying 'nonconsensual,' which is the defining quality of sexual assault."
On and on she blathers, one erroneous assertion cascades atop the next until they collapse upon one another to form a sort of Rorschach inkblot of unmistakable misandry.
It is astounding that it is necessary to repeat the most fundamental concepts about this serious issue. But the well-oiled feminist machine keeps manufacturing faulty information: whether a woman "really wanted it to happen" furnishes no guidance whatsoever as to whether a rape occurred. If a woman willingly manifests assent to sex via her outward words or conduct, it is not rape. Whether she secretly "wanted" to have sex, or secretly did not "want" to have sex, is completely beside the point. The relevant inquiry focuses solely on her outward manifestations of assent.
Put more bluntly: a woman’s secret, undisclosed intentions, desires or whims, and her ex post facto, false and belated, after-the-fact hissy fits of regrets, are of no import; all that matters are her external, objective manifestations of assent at the time of the act. Consent is any manifestation of assent to enter into sexual relations. It can be expressed by conduct as well as words, and it can be shown from all the surrounding circumstances, including the parties' prior course of conduct.
The test is whether a reasonable person in the position of the male would understand that consent has been given. Some states credit the male's subjective good faith belief that consent was present even though such belief wasn't "reasonable."
Women agree to have sex all the time even though they are secretly conflicted about it, or even secretly don't want to. Despite all of feminism's twisting and pounding, that's not rape. By the same token, sometimes rape occurs even though the woman "really wanted" to have sex but said no for other reasons. To suggest that a male is permitted to ignore a woman's outward manifestations in the latter instance because he "knows" that she secretly "really wants it" is not reasonable, and feminists like "Ann" would be the last to accept that. Well, "Ann," it has to work both ways.
Please understand, those aren't my rules, that's the law. To assert that the standard should be that rape occurs when a woman subjectively doesn't want or is conflicted about having sex, regardless of her outward manifestations of assent, furnishes no guidance whatsoever to the male as to what constitutes "rape" at the time of the act. Men would either need to become mind readers or endure lengthy prison sentences. Rape would occur whenever a woman says it occurred. Rape wouldn't be governed by any objective standard but by some free-floating, moving target of a woman's subjective and secret whim. Is that fair, under any possible scenario? The question scarcely survives its statement. The fact that feminists are not at all troubled by the implications of "Ann's" post -- due process be damned! -- tells us all we need to know about their notions of gender equity.
The standard suggested by "Ann" is especially pernicious given that it has now been proven by objective evidence that women experience greater after-the-fact remorse than men about one-night stands. If "Ann" wanted to assist young women -- instead of inviting them to invent rape from whole cloth by feeding them with misinformation -- she would teach them that after-the-fact regret about one-night stands is a common, indeed natural, feeling for women. This would encourage young women to think twice before engaging in such encounters.
And while we're on the subject of misandry, "Ann" doesn't bother to mention to percentage of boys in the survey who "really didn't want" first time sex to happen at that time. I assume she doesn't mention it because, under "Ann's" logic, that would mean that 4.8 percent of the boys surveyed were "raped" by young women. Heaven forbid that a feminist should urge young men to cry "rape" for unwanted sex with young women -- that would upset the preferred metannarative. The fact that "Ann's" post has precisely zero concern for the boys is another bright-line indicator of feminism's regard for gender equity.
But the fact is, unwanted sex for either gender is not necessarily rape. Persons in a committed relationship do things for each other with regularity out of love and sometimes, perhaps often, when they "really didn't want to do it." This can occur because a couple's sex drives are not in sync and often because she's more interested in fostering a long-term relationship than having a momentary sexual experience.
Sometimes -- as unbelievable as this might seem -- it's the male who "doesn't really want to have sex," but does. When a woman is trying to get pregnant, her partner often has sex out of obligation even when it's not especially convenient, and often when he "didn't really want to do it." Has he been raped since he gave in to her verbal desires? No sane person would suggest that, but by this inane feminist standard, that is the only logical conclusion.
"Ann's" post beats the same old mind-numbing tom-tom of vile feminist slanders of the entire male gender. It is the sort of post that contributes, for example, to the despicable prevarication that our college campuses are cisterns of male predatory sexual misconduct.
False rape claims thrive in a culture that actively encourages young women to manufacture rape out of whole cloth by transmogrifying garden variety consensual intercourse into sexual assault. I represented a young man who was falsely accused of rape where this very thing occurred. Feminists do a disservice to actual rape victims with posts' like "Ann's" because it trivializes rape to include among its victims women who acted willing to have sex but cried "rape" anyway.
People like "Ann" are the problem.
42 comments:
I wonder if the feminists will have the first idea what you're talking about? My guess is they'll roll their eyes and act all indignant about rape apologists.
Excellent.
"Would you say then that this first vaginal intercourse was voluntary or not voluntary, that is, did you choose to have sex of your own free will or not?"
Sounds like rape to me. According to table 11 in the report approx 7 percent of females suffered involuntary sex. Not "pressured" sex, but involuntary. If she has a choice that's one thing, but while the feministing lady may be using the wrong number from the wrong table as you point out, the correct number from the question of table 11 is pretty damn high.
Am I wrong about this? If so, why?
I also notice they did NOT bother to ask males if they had been coerced to have sex or if they wanted it. Not that the feministing harpies would care. Now I'm willing to bet that the number of men who felt they had no choice but to have sex with a girl would be over 1 percent though lower than the 7 percent of the females. I'm not sure the PTB want to know anything about male sexual violation, esp if its done by the "gentler" sex.
Still, if that 7 percent rape rate holds up , while it's not a Feminist sized rape stat, it's still a tremendous problem.
Fabulous rebuttal.
According to this feminist logic, every time I write a check for the charity we donate to when I secretly did not want to do that month, I'm being robbed by the charity. To be an adult and have meaningful connections with others often means we do things out of obligation or compromise, even when we didn't "want" to. We offer consent by virtue of these choices and shouldn't blame others, or hold over their heads, the choices we ourselves have made.
My sister had a roommate in college with feminist leanings who claims to have been a victim of "attempted date rape." Her story is she met a young man at the Young Democrat conference, had a few drinks, and went back to his hotel room after. They were fooling around and had clothes off when she decided she didn't really want to have sex. She told him this and he stopped, got dressed, and left. And yet she told my sister and their fellow YDA chapter members that this was 'attempted date rape" Only my sister told her nothing wrong had happened, the others helped her wallow in her apparent victim status.
Although she never took her claims to law enforcement, the young man did earn a reputation as result of the rumors her gossip and tale of woe inspired. Damage was done and this is absolutely inexcusable. He did nothing wrong.
Such situations and beliefs are precisely what irresponsible articles such as this one on Feministing cause.
crazy
i looked at the comments too, the smartest one is what i was going to say
"There is a difference between, "It's my first time and I'm a little scared" and "I don't want to do this at all"."
of course this comes from a guy...
the rest is your standard stuff even "not every girl is a feminist so they dont know that if you are raped its not their fault"
i swear that webpage is just designed to get on our nerves
This is the perfect example of feminists looking at one of these ridiculous surveys and drawing convenient, overly broad conclusions from them. "I really didn't want to at the time" is so vague that it could refer to almost anything, ranging from "I wanted sex but I was nervous at the time so I didn't enjoy it" to "I didn't really want to but I had sex with him so he wouldn't dump me and so he would keep buying me stuff."
That definitely does not translate directly to, "I didn't feel like it, but he pressured me so I gave in."
Oh -- and if you want to see some really goofy numbers, you should ask them whether or not they've ever seen a ghost, after you ask them about having second thoughts about sex. I continue to be astounded at the way researches treat these numbers as anything but complete garbage.
Remember that survey that "proved" that literally one in three women in the army had been raped? PEOPLE LIE, there is your explanation.
To their credit, there are commenters on Feministing who shot down the idea that not being 100% enthusiastic about the sex was the same thing as being raped. In fact, that was the first thing that was pointed out in the comments section.
Let's zoom in on the fallacy:
"I keep staring at those figures in boldface above -- the young women who did not get to set the terms of their first time."
That's not what the survey question says. "I really didn't want it at the time" is no more an indication of rape than "I really didn't feel like paying my cable bill" is an indication that you were robbed.
The survey question doesn't even ask whether or not the girl communicated her reluctance to her partner.
Good stuff all around. I get so bloody tired of feminists giving a free pass to women to define rape for themselves based on their feelings. Ann didn't even mention how many men fell into that category of not wanting their first sexual encounter....why? Is it only a problem if it happens to a female?
If she were really against what she considers rape, she'd be just as indignant about all the males who were "raped" according to her definition. But she's not. She didn't give it any thought at all.
Women like her are the reason I refuse to call myself a feminist. If she and her views were more on the fringes, that would be different. But it's mainstream.
did y'all see the link I posted to the daily mail about the bimbo who claimed that being pursued by the paparazzi was just like a sexual assault / rape?
I did, AfOR.
'Rape' means 'potentially everything'. It's an even less defined term than 'art'.
I'm sure BP "really didn't want" that oil spill either. In fact, if you did a survey of all oil companies I'm certain all of them would say "We really didn't want that to happen".
I guess the fact they were out on the sea drilling and "really wanting to do something else" lets them completely off the hook. All that matters is the purity of your thought (according to you), rather than any less than ideal consequences of your actions.
Taking adequate precautions and thinking ahead has got to be a male right-brain exercise in victim blaming, right?
God help us all when women like Ann become lawmakers and prosecutors - or is it too late?
As a victim of a false accusation by a woman, Archivist is my hero. Feminists are provided opportunity after opportunity to "reach across the aisle" and embrace gender equity. Instead they can't resist choosing man-hatred every single time.
God help us all when women like Ann become lawmakers and prosecutors - or is it too late?
***
Too late.
Now, obviously the underaged girls who took the survey shouldn't be having sex at all, and it is preferable for everybody to wait until they are in the mood before having sex. But it isn't rape if they do choose to have sex when they are not.
"lock-the-doors, hide-the-daughters rape hysteria,"
This is incorrect. Feminists don't advocate that daughters be hidden or locked-up.
They advocate that daughters be allowed to be out, getting drunk stoned and naked, while all men be deputized as their bodyguards.
Indeed, and if a single man shall show himself to be a sexual human being ...
>:-(
while all men be deputized as their bodyguards.
****
And as their scapegoats.
Indeed, and if a single man shall show himself to be a sexual human being ...
That's eye rape, Snark. I've heard women use that phrase seriously trying to imply something was wrong when a man looked at them.
But it isn't reverse "eye rape" to walk around naked in public in front of underaged boys.
If young women are reading Feministing for information, is it any wonder they think rape is common? The Feministing article is a travesty. You don't need to be a lawyer to realize that what Feministing wrote is bullshit and that what is written here is correct. It's common sense.
The post at Feministing is appalling. Archivist's rebuttal is great.
I keep looking at this: ..."really didn't want it to happen" is just another way of saying "nonconsensual,..."
No, it isn't. Does "Ann" not know the difference? I suspect she truly doesn't. She's probably been so brainwashed by feminism that she truly can't distinguish between two very different terms.
It is sobering, the dumbing-down that feminism hath wrought.
Connie, I have a You Tube video rant by a feminist about "rape culture" that I'm going to run on Tuesday -- I sincerely believe that if an average person hears these things they say, they will conclude that they are loony.
Gender / Raunch feminism has degraded women more than a male dominated society could ever do. Gender / Raunch feminism has turned our boys into perverts, and our girls into pole dancing hookers.
Rape hysteria is "Empowering" the Gender/ Raunch community.
If American Universities are continually dominated by "Women as victim" rhetoric and propaganda...It shadows all other issues, like why deviants and crooks are running America into the ground.
Anonymous said...
Jason, if young men are reading the false rape society blog for information, is it any wonder they think false accusations are common?
Actual rapes are less common than the broader public discourse would have it. Contrarily false allegations are more common than that same discourse understands.
Are you capable of comprehending this distinction?
If you were to replace "having sex for the first time" in this survey with "getting drunk for the first time" you would probably get the same answers.
It's what's called R E G R E T, not R A P E.
FACT: One in four women will commit a false rape accusation in their lifetime.
I keep staring at those figures in boldface above -- the young women who did not get to set the terms of their first time.
If you believe in the female gatekeeping theory of sex, I would posit that zero (statistically speaking) men "get to set the terms of their first time".
What they don't seem to get is that the standard for determining whether or not a crime occurred is what the intention and state-of-mind of the accused was. i.e. what level of criminal intent.
The standard is not whether or not someone else feels their rights were violated, or they feel they were not extended sufficient courtesy, or that the accused was merely negligent in considering their feelings etc. etc.
"Ann didn't even mention how many men fell into that category of not wanting their first sexual encounter....why? Is it only a problem if it happens to a female?
If she were really against what she considers rape, she'd be just as indignant about all the males who were "raped" according to her definition."
According to Table 12, on page 36, the number of males who were "raped" could be the same as the number of females who were "raped". And that's ignoring any non-sampling errors.
Anyway, the whole thing seems to have a female bias in the way it was conducted. Not only were females asked more questions, but all the questions were asked by females, "The interviews were administered in person by trained female interviewers in the selected persons’ homes."
Yep
The MSM does the same thing....completely bias reporting.
The part that bothers me is that some people who look up to these sources believe this crap.
And also as a guy I have had more than my share of unwanted things happen that were done by girls. The difference is I don't spend my life whining about it.
It happened it's over move on.
It's not like someone smashed my head in with a brick.
"FACT: One in four women will commit a false rape accusation in their lifetime.
Jun 7, 2010 2:26:00 AM"
I would like to add that in more "Gender /Raunch" dominated areas of the country..like the north eastern states...the percentages are higher. You see the Gender / Raunch community get "Empowered" from rape hysteria.
feministing is the worst of the fear mongering made up 'rape' stat bullshit organizations.
they say oh, were just helping ppl. educating women.
perhaps the worst is this adt security sytem ad, youve seen em,
where she says goonight, and a second later, the 'predator' kicks down the door, runs away.odds of happening: same as hitting florida lotto, but,
exploiting womens fear makes these scum good money i guess.
'1 in every 3 women will be raped'
that old canard is STILL around, amazing.
You are the greatest spokesman this movement has, archivist. I almost feel sorry for the college girls you must be hearing from crying about this article.
You are the greatest spokesman this movement has, archivist. I almost feel sorry for the college girls you must be hearing from crying about this article.
"According to Table 12, on page 36, the number of males who were "raped" could be the same as the number of females who were "raped". And that's ignoring any non-sampling errors."
You really should be pushing this inconvenient observation hard and fast... If this feminist really did care about victims, she wouldn't be ignoring half of them.
There's nothing feminists can say to defend that behavior. They ignore and minimize male rape victims(of women); thus it's obvious that their primary focus isn't on compassion for victims but on the furthering their political aims.
Typhonblue
"Rape would occur whenever a woman says it occurred. Rape wouldn't be governed by any objective standard but by some free-floating, moving target of a woman's subjective and secret whim."
Yep. That's exactly what they're after. Effectively granting women complete, unmitigated control and power over men. Nothing less.
Great article, one of the best I've read here.
For a justice system to grant women and girls the power to lie in our courts, is a very serious perversion of that justice sytem.
History will not quickly forget the gravity of the modern "Gender / Raunch" communities rise to power; by perverting our law enforcement, and justice system.
I wonder what tricky language the formulators of the survey used to con every respondant to the survey.
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