Monday, February 22, 2010
Off-topic: In Defense of Men
I think this piece is more representative of the way the sexes interact, and of the way women feel about men, than we would believe if our entire life were consumed with men's rights sites, including serious sites like ours. It is well for us to remember that our site tells only one little story. It's an important story, but it's not representative of most interaction between men and women. Make sure you look at the comments in the story linked.
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23 comments:
This is interesting - the article and the comments.
What it says to me is that women who are not misandrist need to speak up more in defence of men, because their gender is currently being spoken for by women who do not like men at all.
Non-misandrist women need to speak up against anti-male sexism without needing to be prompted e.g. by an article like this one. We have many examples of women already doing this, but sadly, the most outspoken women are still the ones who proudly proclaim that they hate all things male.
This needs to be challenged by non-misandrist women first and foremost, because men are largely prevented from doing so.
One of the big problems is that a lot of us get so much information from the internet that we start to think that the most vocal views expressed are representative of most people. On these gender issues, I can assert with 100 percent confidence, they are not.
Sometimes, after being immersed in these false rape cases, I need to clear my head of all this gender division. On Valentine's Day, we went out to eat (because we always eat out), and I observed happy young couples having a great time. It all reminded me that I DON'T WANT people to think that this site is representative of gender relations, because it's not. This site is necessary to tell people there's a problem that isn't being addressed. But, man, oh, man, when some of our readers start saying "all women" do such and such a negative thing, I wonder if this site foments those attitudes, because if so, then this site probably does more harm than good.
Perhaps. But you must concede that animosity towards the privileged group is simply inevitable when their privilege is so serious that they can devastate the lives of the unprivileged by a simple false accusation.
In the past I have said "all women," though on reflection I didn't mean it. I make sure I refer to feminists (who I think it's fair game to bash as a whole) or to specific women. It's more accurate for one thing.
I must admit though, that the false rape issue, plus all the other issues, have taken me to a place where I simply cannot extend the same sympathy to women that I can to men. There's nothing I can do about this.
1. What did the police do in response? To this day nothing.
A report and pictures were taken of my injuries. My head was cut open in three diffrent places. There was blood everywhere, and my apartment was trashed by these persons. She opend the door for them and let them in, they waited for me, from when I got home from work. The person resoponsable was my ex, and her gang cousins friends. The police we given a picture of the perpitrators. The athorites knew who they were, I have written to the DA, to this day nothing has been done.
2. Did the police arrest the perpetrators? No.
They said that there was nothing they could do, that they lacked evedince. Three months later this same ex files a domestic complaint agains me all based on here word, and I was charged with a crime. She had no injures and she even tried to withdraw her complaint, but the DAs office moved forward with the case. My attorney at the time faxed them a copy of her having a Personality Disorder. She, use to cut herself, to try and forget her fathers rape when she was twelve, something I had nothing to do with. I was trying to seperate from her, and this is what trigered these events, she may have felt I was abandoning her.
3. Did the police identify the perpetrators to you?
The police were given an address of where to find these individuals. They too treated me as if I was waisting there time. The DA knows, I have written to her and in fact I will do one last time just for you, but I expect her to do nothing.
I learned a long time ago that the system is broken. Until it happens to you, you will never understand what is happening. To me the Da only cares about cash flow and her 94% conviction rate, so that she can win the next election. Over the years I have educated myself as to what is really happens in the court system. I was troubled to learn about all of the corruption that takes place.
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"I must admit though, that the false rape issue, plus all the other issues, have taken me to a place where I simply cannot extend the same sympathy to women that I can to men. There's nothing I can do about this."
You're aware of it, which is a start, and much better than nothing.
It is a good article, and I like it a lot.
Aaron: you're probably realizing by now that she was never really raped by her father; that was just another pathetic ploy for attention.
Archivist Q: I wonder if this site foments those attitudes, because if so, then this site probably does more harm than good.
To answer your question in a word : yes.
I encouraged a woman who's son was falsely accused to view this site.
She was horrified at ME for recommending it.
As 'justified' as some may think their anger is - the numbers of people willing to stand up for this cause is not so unlimited as to dismiss an entire other gender.
Just something to think about.
"I encouraged a woman who's son was falsely accused to view this site.
She was horrified at ME for recommending it.
As 'justified' as some may think their anger is - the numbers of people willing to stand up for this cause is not so unlimited as to dismiss an entire other gender.
Just something to think about."
So she cares more for how her son will regard women than for the injury he is suffering.
Disgusting. Disgusting. Subhuman.
Her concern is valid but for her to let that outweigh her son's present trouble is disgusting.
I know !
It sounds like she does not care about her son at all!
Also men falsely accuse and are often a huge part of the legal system that puts them through this hell. Just look at mike nifong.
To me he is a false rape accuser that is every bit as bad if not worse than the women that falsely accuse.
Unfortunately, my feelings about women no longer matter. The law has decided how I will think about women from now on (or until the law changes) and my false accuser and the ongoing investigation make me less likely to consider that there are others with compassionate viewpoints that care for men and live relatively "normal" lives like I used to do before being falsely accused. I've lost the pursuit of happiness; my joy is gone; my faith in people has been shattered; my trust in government and the justice system no longer exists; I've lost my job; I have no health insurance; My health conditions (heart and blood pressure problems) are now largely untreated and continue to worsen from the stress and anxiety of potentially losing my freedom-- all because of woman who lied or is delusional; I've lost some friends; and now when acquaintances look at me they ask what's wrong -- and I can 't tell them -- I feel part of me has been murdered because I cannot share the truth of my innocence and the facts in my case while my accuser is afforded every comfort, consolation, and support; I see happy couples and I wonder if either one will end up falsely accused at some point and have to live with or live through what I am experiencing now. ALL women that I currently interact with or whom I may potentially interact with here in the US (and perhaps world-wide) have the ability to destroy me with a single lie, simply because of my gender, fully supported and advocated by the judicial system and special interest groups. As others have mentioned, they don't even need to involve the law, they can simply use informal networks and spread gossip and rumor in a vilification campaign. It's not a division of gender that I WANT to see, but MUST SEE, so that what's left my freedom, health, and sanity can be preserved. Does this site foment how I feel? No. I own it all. In my case, FRS merely documents and reflects and validates what I feel and think, and it helps me to realize that I am not alone. The most vocal views are not representative merely because the majority have not (yet) been falsely accused. Just as in the Salem Witch Trials, when enough FRA's happen to people in all walks of life and at every economic level and it results in a decline in public confidence in the judicial system (that is convicting and even executing innocent people) -- only then will things change and only then the insanity will stop. Maybe then I will again see compassion in the world, but I don't think it will come in my lifetime. Until then, for me, "all women" can be applied in many valid statements in regard to MY relations with the female gender. As you can see, many of the other falsely accused that post here share some of the same sentiments. It's funny. I'm not bitter. Ultimately, I really just want be left alone and to find peace.
Because the woman chooses not to take a beating on this blog does not mean she doesn't care about her son.
I'll reprint her words, however with the understanding though we were not in agreement, I HEARD what she was saying:
Q:
ok It looks like I hit a nerve here. I sure agree with all you said. I've always hated it. But how is this all WOMEN'S fault??
I understand how you feel on some of these issues...but we see the cause,etc. very differently. I sure do not see women as these innocent creatures lacking responsiblity but I also think that what I've said is being so distorted that it probably won't do any good for us to try to keep this going.
I certainly empathize with you. We're both on the same team about that, I think. And I'm angry as you are. We just see things differently. And I was glad to hear you at least TRY to get those very conservative, angry men to be fair. Good luck with that. I've been involved for many years with women's groups and have not seen that kind of extreme vindictiveness and rage against men as a group. I'm sure it's there in some individuals but I do not think it would be tolerated by the kind of people I've known in the major feminist/women's groups I've been active in. In fact, I've gotten a lot of sympathy from women in on-line feminist groups. pat
We agreed to disagree at this point. I wanted to inquire what feminist groups she found sympthy with, but it was conversation over before we got that far.
Point being, this was a psychotherapist with a falsely accused son - someone that could have been helpful to this cause.
To a large extent biases against men and in favor of women are deeply rooted in evolution and natural selection. This is largely because males are more disposable (as more males are born than females while fewer males are needed for reproduction), while males act as a genetic filter and society is geared to eliminating the weakest males from the group.
So to a large extent the issues we deal with are real among the general population. Although I agree that most people aren't prejudiced against men to nearly the same extent that the commentariat is.
The problem is that men's problems have to be much worse before people become sympathetic to them, mainly for the reasons outlined.
"But, man, oh, man, when some of our readers start saying "all women" do such and such a negative thing, I wonder if this site foments those attitudes, because if so, then this site probably does more harm than good."
It would be a good idea to ban comments that say all ....(insert whatever group) do anything.
Q: It would be a good idea to ban comments that say all ....(insert whatever group) do anything.
It would be a shame to 'ban' any victim's thoughts or feelings on this site. It's what this site is for, and about the only outlet for those falsely accused.
However, a gentle reminder that not ALL women are guilty for the misdeeds of 'some', anymore than all MEN are guilty of the misdeeds of the minority of their gender.
Lawmakers Consider an Animal Abuse Registry - NYTimes.com
Feb 22, 2010 ... A proposal would make California the first state to place animal abusers on the same level as sex offenders.
www.nytimes.com/2010/02/22/us/22abuse.html
Sounds 'good', but it obscures the sound of a cocking gun being loaded with the latest feminist's silver bullet, aimed at you-know-who.
Read the comments.
"It would be a shame to 'ban' any victim's thoughts or feelings on this site. It's what this site is for, and about the only outlet for those falsely accused."
It is a dangerous business to start using victimhood as an excuse for vilifying any group.
Remember that feminists have continually used victimhood to justify vilifying men. Apparently Andrea Dworkin was sexually abused as a child. Oh dear. We can't silence the victims.
Victims deserve compassion and empathy, not deference. Nor does being a victim mean you should get a free pass and never be held accountable.
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