Thursday, February 4, 2010

Now, ladies, you can take the law into your own hands - or vaginas - to stop rape!

Not that any of you would ever abuse the privilege.


Maybe Being A Woman Just Got A Little Better

Sure, women have had some selection for rape defenses in the past: mace, the whistle, the collapsible billy club, fingernails etc. But the Repex Anti-Rape Condom, invented by a South African woman, trumps all. It’s a female condom (that odd, bag-like device we first caught wind of in sex-ed but haven’t seen since) with sharp, flesh-shredding barbs lining the inner wall, where a man's member would fit, that, once it latches on to a dude's junk, can only be removed by a doctor. Ouch! Maybe this is the best defense that women have ever had against the atrocious act, or maybe this’ll be the scariest thing that the FDA approves since Olestra.

Theoretically, the rapist will commence the act, feel the instant rush of excruciating, pain, immediately remove his phallus, allowing the victim the opportunity to haul ass in the other direction, hopefully somewhere well-lit and populated with law enforcement officials. The downsides are:

a) A woman must insert this sharp-edged device into herself before the act takes place. That requires a lot of planning and the adamant fear of being raped at all times (which explains why it was developed in South Africa, where 1 in 4 men say they’ve raped a woman.)

b) Having a defensive attack launched on his peter will undoubtedly turn a typical, crazed rapist into a more crazed rapist. The hope is that he’ll be screaming in pain on the ground, but if he has the opportunity to stand up or has some appalling rapist buddies around, it won’t bode well for the victim. Unless, of course, any of these scumbags have seen Teeth, in which case they will think they are being attacked by a Vagina Dentata.

c) Women could use this (possibly) good safeguard for evil. That’s a twisted, demented thought, but then again, so’s rape.

Thanks to Jennifer V. for the link

Link: http://www.blackbookmag.com/article/maybe-being-a-woman-just-got-a-little-better/15029#When:18:00:00Z