OPINION: The unique power of crying rape
The recent incident at Hofstra University, in which a student claimed that she was gang-raped in a men's room, has reignited the ongoing and often bitter debate about false accusations of rape. Are false rape charges a serious problem exacerbated by feminist claims that women don't lie about rape? Or is the issue being blown out of proportion to discredit feminists and cast doubt on the credibility of rape victims? Should women who bring false accusations be prosecuted or treated as troubled people who need help?
The Hofstra incident seems to be a classic case of a woman "crying rape" after consensual sex was followed by regrets. The woman said she was lured to a bathroom during a fraternity party, tied to a toilet stall with a rope and raped by five men. The men were arrested and briefly jailed before one of them produced a cell phone video filmed during the encounter, showing consensual sex. Confronted with the video, the woman recanted.
Many feminists argue that the problem of false accusations is so minuscule that to discuss it extensively is a harmful distraction from the far more serious problem of rape. On the other side are men's-rights activists, claiming that false accusations are as much of a scourge as rape itself.
In the 1970s, the feminist anti-rape movement championed the credibility of women for a good reason: At the time, the belief that rape charges are often made up out of vindictiveness or hysteria often caused victims to be treated as if they were the criminals. Unfortunately, rigid feminist dogma replaced one set of prejudices with another. Law professor Catharine MacKinnon has written that "feminism is built on believing women's accounts of sexual use and abuse by men."
Building a belief system around believing someone's claims on the basis of gender is a sure prescription for bias. In 2006, when several members of the men's lacrosse team at Duke University were charged with raping a stripper at a team party, many feminist commentators, such as New England School of Law professor and former prosecutor Wendy Murphy, insisted on a presumption of guilt toward the accused men, despite indications that the story could be a hoax. The men were eventually exonerated.
FBI statistics show that about 9 percent of rape reports are "unfounded" - that is, dismissed without charges being filed. This usually happens when the accuser recants or when her story is contradicted by evidence. Some studies put the rate of false accusations at one in four or even higher. While no one knows the true figures, it is clear that the problem is real and its consequences can be devastating. The lacrosse players at Duke lived through a yearlong legal nightmare and were publicly branded as rapists. False accusations have sent men to prison for months or even years.
Yet some of the commentary on the Hofstra case has shown more sympathy to the accuser than the falsely accused men. On Slate, Emily Bazelon writes, "Let's agree that something disturbing happened to that 18-year-old woman at Hofstra. Something she feels awful about."
The assumption is that a drunken sexual encounter in a bathroom is something that "happens" to a woman, and if she "feels awful" when she sobers up and has regrets, she deserves a measure of support and understanding. (In fact, the woman's false accusation may have been less a reaction to guilt and shame than an attempt to conceal her escapades from her boyfriend, who saw her immediately afterward.)
Meanwhile, some are expressing harsh judgment of the men for engaging in group sex in a bathroom and filming it. This is not attractive behavior, to be sure. Yet we always have been told that rape victims don't need to be angels or models of chastity to deserve support. Surely the same should apply to men who are falsely accused.
To recognize that some women wrongly accuse men of rape is not anti-female, any more than recognizing that some men rape women is anti-male. There is power in a charge as uniquely damaging as rape, and women are no less likely than men to abuse the power they have. To recognize this fact is not "backlash" but basic fairness.
Link: http://www.newsday.com/opinion/opinion-the-unique-power-of-crying-rape-1.1469444
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44 comments:
Joseph Stalin
Adolf Hitler
Catharine A. MacKinnon
Cathy Young has always been, literally, a voice of reason on male/female issues. It's too bad there are so relatively few women like her at present. But that can be changed, I think.
That was a good piece and I was surprised when I read it in the paper today. I was not surprised at the one that was right below it that emphasized how utterly rare false accusations are
"While no one knows the true figures, it is clear that the problem is real and its consequences can be devastating."
Isn't this the stand-out comment?
Why should we continue to be in the dark about the extent of false rape accusation? It's not as if these figures would be hard to collate.
Just the fact that we are kept in continuous ignorance is suspicious enough to warrant all our doubts.
That's a very good article, although I think that even Cathy Young is exaggerating the problems that our legal system used to have. Men certainly were falsely charged with rape even before the rise of modern feminism, athough now false rape accusations are par for the coarse.
But Cathy Young is falling into a trap: mistaking this deliberate, malicious act which was committed for the purpose of getting attention with a women just making something up after getting cold feet. False rape accusers don't do what they do just out of embarrassment.
That woman was in that bathroom because she intended all along to falsely accuse those boys of rape. We have a long, long way to go before our society comes to terms with these sociopaths, who are every bit as sadistic and evil as serial killers and rapists.
The above should say "confusing," not mistaking.
But this was a good article, and it raises an extremely important point about the number of false accusations and convictions. We simply don't know the extent of this, and there is no reason to be confident about our legal system. Nearly all accusations of rape are treated as credible even when the accuser is anything but.
That woman was in that bathroom because she intended all along to falsely accuse those boys of rape. We have a long, long way to go before our society comes to terms with these sociopaths, who are every bit as sadistic and evil as serial killers and rapists.
Nonsense. She was just a stupid scared kid who got in over her head and told a lie to get out of it.
If you want to look for sociopaths, you need to look at the ones on this very blog who showcase their malice and hatred of men and are the architects of the system which allowed a stupid and scared kid to almost destroy the lives of 5 other stupid and scared kids.
"But Cathy Young is falling into a trap: mistaking this deliberate, malicious act which was committed for the purpose of getting attention with a women just making something up after getting cold feet. False rape accusers don't do what they do just out of embarrassment."
Read Prof. Kanin's report and you;ll have a different opinion.
"If you want to look for sociopaths, you need to look at the ones on this very blog who showcase their malice and hatred of men..."
Don't you mean "of women"?
How come you don't deal with the behavior of the guys at all? This article says that it was not "attractive behavior" having sex in a bathroom and then filming it. (Oh really?) Just like those Duke boys all of you feel so sorry for. They hired a stripper and some went off with her in a room, right? To do what?
Females who are victimized are blamed for their behavior. Why aren't guys ever blamed? Why aren't guys ever held to account? Why aren't guys ever told, well, you asked for it, didn't you? Go off with a stranger girl stripper, go have group sex with one girl. But if you're dumb enough to do that, remember there are consequences. We're always told that. Guys should be as well.
I know this is blaming the victim. But none of you seem to have a problem blaming women for rape when they do something "stupid". But you want complete freedom to act in any way you please. And you can't.
"False rape accusers don't do what they do just out of embarrassment.
That woman was in that bathroom because she intended all along to falsely accuse those boys of rape."
While there may indeed be women who would do just that, this seems to be a case of a lie to cover for cheating on her boyfriend that quickly got out of hand (or, rather, SHE let get out of hand).
And, let's be clear, inviting a man into a restroom for sex, and suggesting that he bring his friends along (from the statements of the young men involved) is NOT that far outside the ordinary for young women these days.
Restroom "hook-ups" are apparently rather common - though usually with one sex-partner at a time.
This was not some "deeply troubled" woman - this IS a fairly typical woman, who chose to have a little sex on the side with strangers in a communal (though not public) place (and all the excitement that comes from the dangers involved therewith).
It would have all ended right there, except that she encountered her boyfriend, who (from his account) knew she'd likely just had sex with someone else.
Here, again, she could have been honest, admitted what SHE had done, but she didn't want to deal with the (localized) consequences (as opposed to more “global” consequences such as Amanda Hess has suggested) of her unfaithfulness.
He was suspicious of her allegation of rape, and thus challenged her to go to the police with it. Once again, she had a opportunity to stop it right there, and simply come clean.
But, the problem today is not that women feel shame for their promiscuity, but rather that they have on conscience – at least when it comes to random men they barely know.
As we saw not long ago with the women in NJ who maintained the lie she had first told her friends as an excuse for leaving without them, all the way to seeing a man who had not even had sex with her go to prison, women would rather see some guy(s) totally destroyed than to have to be honest with friends, partners, and/or family.
Actually, you're not that far off in suggesting that Danmell Ndonye is a sociopath. Not admitting to a lie, and accepting localized consequence, and quite likely seeing 5 young men go to prison for the sake of maintaining such a lie, sure seems sociopathic to me. I just disagree that she pre-planned it.
"They hired a stripper and some went off with her in a room, right?"
Wrong (and hardly surprisingly so). There was no evidence nor corroborating statements of any such thing occurring - AT ALL.
That was the prostitute/strippers drunken, lying account. Look it up.
"How come you don't deal with the behavior of the guys at all?"
Do you have a problem with men having anal sex Jeana? Do you find homosexuality disgusting? If you don't, does it then follow that all men should engage in the same? Do you assume that all women have the same sexual proclivities?
Most of us adults have long passed that place where what other adults do for their own titillation is any of our business.
If you want to do some preaching about what is acceptable sex and what isn't, go somewhere where the audience is interested in that sort of thing.
I don't address these guys sexual behavior for the same reason I don't address Ndonye's. Not my business. It's Ndonye's criminal behavior in reporting a false rape that is the subject that nearly all of us condemn, as well as the systemic encouragement of this sort of crime.
Nonsense. She was just a stupid scared kid who got in over her head and told a lie to get out of it.
If you want to look for sociopaths, you need to look at the ones on this very blog who showcase their malice and hatred of men and are the architects of the system which allowed a stupid and scared kid to almost destroy the lives of 5 other stupid and scared kids.
*****
You are absolutely wrong. The trolls on this blog are just typical selfish modern women. That false rape accuser is anything but a "scared kid." Women do not normally accuse five men of rape just to get out of some embarrassment. If you do that then you probably have a long history of that sort of behavior, just like Crystal Mangum.
The liars know exactly what they're doing. They are making a rational choice in order to get a psychological payoff, and usually have a long history of having done so.
"How come you don't deal with the behavior of the guys at all?"
********
Because their behavior isn't rape. HER behavior was the crime, J-troll.
To put it another way, J-troll and A-troll are like Archie Bunker, while this false rape accuser is like Ted Bundy.
Slwerner, you always appear to have a balanced opinion, but in this instance, you are justifying (or excusing) the lacrosse team for hiring a stripper/prostitute.
Why didn't these guys bother to check her background before allowing her to "perform" for them? I mean why would they "associate" with such a degenerate woman?
Isn't this the same reasoning you use to blame female rape victim?
Once again, comparing perfectly legal behavior to the vicious crime of a false rape accusation is ridiculous and demeaning. Shame on you, a-troll.
You defined yourself when you said that the Hofstra victims should be euthanized for consensual sex. Vile and disgusting.
@ 8:37's accusation, "You defined yourself when you said that the Hofstra victims should be euthanized for consensual sex. Vile and disgusting."
Except I never said any such thing. If anything, I believe the Hofstra "false accuser" should be put in the slammer for a looooong time. But why should I continue to humor you by repeating myself?
I'd like to hear the "new" Anon weigh in on this discussion ... the one without a neon sign.
You already have.
Atom - "in this instance, you are justifying (or excusing) the lacrosse team for hiring a stripper/prostitute."
????
Where did I offer ANY excuse? I simply pointed out (I followed that case closely) that Crystal Gail Mangum was NEVER alone in bathroom with several guys.
But, since you brought it up, if you had followed the case, you might have been aware that someone from the fraternity (but none of the accused) called an agency for two strippers - of physical descriptions unlike either of the two women who did show up (to attempt to put it delicately).
Now, I don't approve of hiring strippers, but THAT was perfectly legal.
In a strange bit of irony, not long after the Duke incident, a college woman's team hired male strippers for a party (they were reprimanded for the "bad timing" of doing so - not FOR do so).
Again, I don't excuse or approve of such things - but I recognize that they are still legal for people to chose to do.
Likewise, I don't approve of cheating on one's partner, but it's also not illegal. It's making a false rape allegation that IS in question here - not anyone's sexual choices.
In this instance, you got me all wrong.
I approve and excuse them. Who cares that they hired strippers? What bachelor party is complete without one?
Slwerner, nevermind, you missed the whole point I tried to get across. It has nothing to do with legality. I used the lacrosse team as an example of using poor judgement ... they got themselves in a real bind by hiring bimbos.
It's a reverse example of how the MRAs blame women for putting themselves at RISK, thus getting raped. I.E., blame the woman. Do you see my point?
Atom - "Do you see my point?"
If your point was to snark about men blaming women for being raped, then why the Hell did you drag my name into it?
Where have you ever seen me blame a woman for being raped - I don't even tend to address their risky behaviors. Real rape is just plain wrong, whether or not a victims actions may have "enabled" or in any way encouraged it. Just as false rape accusations are always just plain wrong - no matter what they excuse, or what a man may have done to have "enabled" or in any way encouraged it.
If you wish to effectively make such a point, why not address your remarks to someone who has actually done what you accuse them of doing?
Again, for the record, I have never excused or justified the Duke Lacrosse teams hiring of strippers; nor do I engage in blaming women for being raped.
"Why didn't these guys bother to check her background before allowing her to "perform" for them? I mean why would they "associate" with such a degenerate woman?"
If you read this blog, you will know that we frequently suggest that guys and women not put themselves in situations where bad things can happen to them. Nobody ever "asks" to be raped or to have a false rape accusation made against them, but there are certain situations where these things happen more frequently; specifically, sex with someone you barely know -- and alcohol. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to tell people to be careful. Sadly, it's a dangerous world.
"Why aren't guys ever told, well, you asked for it, didn't you?"
They asked to have somebody use the law in a way it was not supposed to be used for the purposes of escaping the long term consequences of extra-relational sex?
"Go off with a stranger girl stripper, go have group sex with one girl. But if you're dumb enough to do that, remember there are consequences. We're always told that. Guys should be as well."
Except the consequences for you are maybe an STD or pregnancy,the consequence for these men was having their lives destroyed.
Women should not be allowed to create "consequences" for males, whose only "crime" was consenting to having sex with them, by misusing the law and police services that are there to protect legitimate victims.
It's a reverse example of how the MRAs blame women for putting themselves at RISK, thus getting raped. I.E., blame the woman. Do you see my point?
I see it, and agree with it. I think it was a monumentally stupid thing to do.
However, that opens a half-dozen or so industrial-sized cans of worms. The first is one of the purposes of this site - to alert men to the very real danger they face from false accusations. That requires establishing the cultural knowledge that women can and do lie about rape. Without that one piece of key knowledge, men might think "well, as long as I don't rape her, I have nothing to worry about."
We know that is not true.
However, in order to get that message and knowledge across, we have to tackle the "culture of denial of female perfidy." We have to get them to realize and understand that women can and do lie about rape, and that the accusations are not, as claimed, "rare."
Even more monumental of a task, we would need to do something about the phenomenon of how much women seem to be attracted to "jocks." I would be willing to bet that if the Debate team had as many groupies as the sports teams, that nerdliness among young men would go up by a factor of 1000.
Something else which would need to be done is to create a socially approved outlet for the unbelievably powerful libidos of young men. Putting them completely in the control of women and women's preferences will not work - it will simply give women more power to use men's desires to exploit them.
Of course, one part of your argument breaks down in that one of the Duke accused actually had proof that he was somewhere else at the time the lied-about-rape supposedly occurred. Not doing it, not taking part, and actually being somewhere else still didn't protect one of those boys from the rape-lie.
That's a bit like a woman getting raped in her own home - isn't it? Even when steps are taken that aren't "asking for it", sometimes the criminals and lowlifes can still reach out and screw up your life.
And, sometimes those criminals and lowlifes are female.
While "jocks" may be more attractive than "nerds" (in college, at least), what kind of female is attractive to males? You guys are no more "fair" in who you prefer.
Anyway, while it is true you can be raped in your own home and if you take every precaution, you still need to watch what you do. My point was, so do males.
And having sex in a public bathroom sounds kind of gross. They all should be arrested just for having no class.
what kind of female is attractive to males?
Breathing ones. :D
They all should be arrested just for having no class.
They were arrested. Or did you miss that? She wasn't. Did you miss that? Shouldn't you be calling for her arrest for inviting SEVERAL men to screw her in a bathroom? Isn't that having no class? But no, only the men should be punished, right?
Sexist and bigoted don't even begin to cover your statement.
They all should be arrested just for having no class.
I'm sure glad that women are poised to become the majority of the workforce, because if we put all no-class people in jail it's gonna take a LOT of taxes to pay for it.
The link to Young's article is no longer good!!! I sent an email to frs just now.
jeana continues to experience grandiose thoughts. Here in this thread, she diverts the issue, as if diverting a thread of discussion will divert us MRA's from our purpose and beliefs themselves.
Norm,
You are the second person to say a link isn't working. It is just fine for me.
"They all should be arrested just for having no class."
I expect this was an attempt at humor Jeana, but if so, you'd be arrested as well for such a tasteless quip.
Commentators often like to say that false rape accusers harm the prospects of genuine rape victims (and often go on to list a whole list of other victims besides the primary one), but I think women are harmed much more seriously than this.
When so many women, including those in power like the DA in the Hofstra case, repeatedly demonstrate an inability to recognize a crime as a crime if men are the victims, the credibility of all women suffers. Many men will legitimately be asking themselves if women can be trusted with power over them in any capacity, when they keep showing themselves to be unable to empathize with men at all.
The same charge cannot be leveled against men, considering that throughout history crimes against women have been recognized and severely punished, sometimes with death. It is almost inconceivable that women would execute another woman for a crime committed against a man.
This isn't to suggest that women need to run around killing other women to make a point, but that when we look at how women are treating crimes against men in general, we see something seriously wrong. So wrong that should no change be forthcoming, no man can expect reasonable justice from a female judge, reasonable treatment from female police officers or just legislation from female politicians.
The bold experiment in mixing the sexes and allowing women to take a place next to men would be over.
The irony is, women themselves are seeking ever more separation, and men are beginning to realize that casual interaction with women is increasingly dangerous (I'm not alone in minimizing contact with them). It doesn't take much imagination to see that this is a development that parallels the current situation in more traditional Muslim countries, and indeed, is similar to attitudes we ourselves held 100 years ago.
So while so many women remain intransigent on this issue, and think a man deserves whatever comes his way regardless, they all disqualify themselves from having any further influence. Their minds are closed and they have nothing further to contribute.
"Many men will legitimately be asking themselves if women can be trusted with power over them in any capacity, when they keep showing themselves to be unable to empathize with men at all."
Indeed,with the blatant cronyism I've seen out of women,I personally would say that any female judge,lawyer, or police officer should be arrested for impersonation of an authority figure.
Their ability to write laws,enforce laws,or shape policies that affect men is illegitimate if they do not practice what they preach and apply those laws and policies equally to everyone.
GENDER / RAUNCH girls have been sexually liberated to the degree that they like to gang bang the baseball team.
Misguided eunech males (who are gender feminists pawns)..can't accept this into their perverted myopic little brains.
The irony is, women themselves are seeking ever more separation, and men are beginning to realize that casual interaction with women is increasingly dangerous (I'm not alone in minimizing contact with them). It doesn't take much imagination to see that this is a development that parallels the current situation in more traditional Muslim countries, and indeed, is similar to attitudes we ourselves held 100 years ago.
You have indirectly touched on the fundamental lie of feminism - that existing social conditions of the past were something men did TO women, without women's participation and consent.
The reality is that women wanted things the way they were just as much, if not more, than men did. Once they obliterated men's spaces - using the excuses of "equality" and "oppression", and invading them and demanding that they be conducted according to women's value system instead of men's - they immediately set about re-establishing women-only spaces.
As men have abdicated and left women holding the bag, women have found that what they thought was in those previously male spaces was not what was actually there. Now women are trapped, and there is no clear way out for them.
The argument that women have been oppressed historically -- which is accepted by most people without question -- is very dubious. The truth is that women had many advantages while men had others. Obviously it was men fighting and dying in wars and doing all of the worst jobs throughout history, not women.
Thank you Cathy Young.
It's like the philosopher Schopenhauer said: every few decades, there comes an opportunity for the truth to find its way to the surface, and become accepted. It is very important to take advantage of these opportunities, for soon the pattern of denial and subjugation will resume. (paraphrasing)
He also said,
"All truth goes through three stages:
First it is ridiculed, then it is violently opposed, then it it accepted as self-evident." (I think William James said something similar later)
the above should say, "then it IS accepted as self-evident."
In this case, the truth is that enormous numbers of innocent men are being convicted of rape by a legal system that is out of control. If the recidivism rates are any indication, more than one in three convicted sex offenders is innocent.
I could never rape a woman. Not for moral or ethical reasons, but simply because they have no sexual hold over me. Women are selfish, conniving liars, and I don't consider selfish, conniving liars sexy. As you may have guessed, I'm as queer as a three dollar bill. I've discovered long ago that women are all glitter and no gold. they are bigger sexists than the men they accuse.
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