Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Reader slwerner: Women purposefully consume alcohol to have sex

The following appeared as a comment to another post -- but it deserves its own post.

By slwerner

One of the most popular “myths” out there is the notion that men get women drunk in order to have sex with them – as if they are pulling some sort of “trick” on the women.

While men certainly do provide alcohol/drugs to women in the hopes of lowering their inhibitions, the absurd notion that only men act in ways to secure sex flies square in the face of what has to be the worst-kept secret of today’s culture – WOMEN PURPOSEFULLY USE ALCOHOL/DRUGS TO HAVE SEX!

While women tend not to have the same level of physical “drive” for sex, they certainly have a level of desire which rivals men’s.

Where men are hard-wired to pursue sex, women are hard-wired to desire to be the object of men’s sexual drive. Both men and women desire sex, and both derive great pleasure from it.

But, women are the traditional “gatekeepers” and thus tend to have greater natural inhibitions. Thus, in order to satiate their desire for sex, women find that they need to overcome their inhibitions (or, to put it more accurately – they FULLY understand that they need to overcome those inhibitions).

Alcohol has long been euphemistically called “liquid courage." It is well understood to lower inhibitions for those who otherwise feel to timid to act in certain ways. Women understand this every bit as well as do men.

Whether a woman accepts a drink from a man, or (as is so often the case, shows up already having had a drink or three), she is fully cognisant that alcohol will serve to lower her inhibitions – and she makes that very choice. Unless she is a total naïve’ imbecile, she knows quite well that she will be much more likely to desire/consent to sex.

In effect, by choosing to drink alcohol or take drugs, a woman is essentially determining that she is interested and willing in regards to the possibility of sex. No one is holding the proverbial gun to her head. She chooses of her own free-will to engage in something that is more than likely to lead to sex.

And, getting back to my earlier point – that is exactly what women intend to do. They want to have sex, but recognize that they need to lower their inhibitions.

From what I can gather, a woman’s sexual desire tends to be rather narcissistic in nature. They want to be the object of a man’s desire. They want to be “picked” by a desirable man from out of the field of available women as the one he chooses to pursue for sex. [Some imply that this is connected to the otherwise seemingly irrational “rape fantasies” of some women].

Towards that end, women understand that they need to act in ways to make themselves seem more desirable than their “competition.” Women spend hours and dollars on clothes and make-up. Some chose to dress in a deliberately provocative manner. Other women will find they need a little of that liquid courage to put themselves “out” in that way. A couple of drinks will help a woman dress in a way she could never feel comfortable doing when sober. And, sometimes, even this isn’t enough for them.

Virtually all women today are quite aware of the “Girls Gone Wild” phenomenon. Most women would not choose to expose themselves to random men while sober – yet they cannot be unaware that plenty of women do just that when they are drunk. So, when they choose to get drunk, women must certainly understand that, in those settings where such things take place, that they will be more likely to engage in such exhibitionism. Of course, there’s never a shortage of women choosing to do just that – it all goes back to the underlying desire of woman to have men desire them. They purposefully choose to do things that they (rightly or not) believe will attract men’s sexual desire to them. Alcohol is simply the means for them to be able to lower their inhibitions to get to the point that they will be able to do such things that they are fully aware they could never do when sober.

It’s really no secret that women are actively and purposefully using drugs and alcohol to achieve sex. The great hypocrisy is that they both use it to have sex, and then to “excuse” themselves after-the-fact.

Now-a-days, that self excusing too often takes the form a false rape charge – willfully aided by a stubbornly chivalrous cultural “norm” which clings to the dumb-assed notion that women are “sugar and spice”, sweet and innocent, and not the debase creatures we so frequently see. Thus, the equally ridiculous notion that only woman can be too drunk to consent – since, obviously, “sex is something men do and that women have done to them."