Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Women are hard-wired to send out mixed messages -- another recipe for miscommunication that sometimes leads to false rape charges

Comment: The following science report reveals another reason why young women also need to be taught about rape, and false rape claims. We've explained previously that the emphasis on rape indoctrination is always on the male when, in fact, women have much to learn, too. For example, young women need to know that after-the-fact regret about one-night stands is a common, indeed natural, feeling for women -- much more than for men. This can lead to feelings of resentment and of being "used." Feeling that you've been "used" is often not rape but it might feel like it, and some young women think that it is. (The difference is this: feeling that you've been "used" is your own fault if your outward manifestations signaled to the guy that it was OK for him to proceed.)

The following story is about a study that shows women are hard to read when it comes to how they feel about men. They send mixed signals. Sometimes a man might misinterpret these signals as consent -- and that just might be a reasonable interpretation, too. And sometimes the man proceeds further than the woman secretly desires -- and then, she regrets having gone there -- and blames the man for misreading her.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fundamental difference between the sexes in the crucial area of communication when it comes to sex -- but only males will serve prison time if they "get it wrong." Both sexes need to be taught to understand the other.

Everyone Agrees: Women Are Hard to Read

A new study backs up what men have said all along: Women are difficult to read. And the women agree.

Researchers at Indiana University showed video clips from 24 different speed dates and asked male and female participants two simple questions: “Do you think the man was interested in this woman?” and “Do you think the woman was interested in this man?” Their answers were then compared with the responses of the speed daters themselves.

The results, published in the January issue of the journal Psychological Science, show that both men and women are able to gauge a man's interest in a woman, but are equally baffled when it comes to figuring out if a woman is interested in a man.

In fact, a flip of a coin would be almost as accurate in predicting a woman's romantic interest on a date.

Skyler S. Place, who headed up the study, says that the biological drive behind dating — finding an optimal mate for gene promotion — gives women reason to be elusive.

"Being coy forces the men to spend more time interacting with the woman, because they are unsure if they have successfully courted her," Place said. "Therefore, the woman has more time to gather information about her date."

Ultimately, women have more at stake while dating because they face higher "sunk costs" — a woman can carry the child of only one man at a time, while a man can impregnate many women.
Video clips taken from the middle and end of dates provided the most accurate assessments, Place said, suggesting that the daters' true feelings became more evident as they collected information throughout their encounter.

The speed dates were conducted in Germany as part of Humboldt University's Berlin Speed Dating Study. None of the Indiana University study participants understood German, and were using only visual cues and tone of voice to determine daters' interest.

The findings might be sound, but what about the old dating adage to just be yourself?
"From an evolutionary perspective, there is nothing wrong with a woman being 'open' and 'honest' about who she is — it is simply in her best interest not to present herself as actually interested immediately," Place said.

Getting to the second date, however, is still a good sign.